EP. 20: Ellen Heed on Un-shaming, Radical Sexual Autonomy, and the Real Deal on Pelvic Touchwork

Ellen and Kimberly Share:

  • The inside scoop on Exiting the Shame Matrix course and why comes first in STREAM training
  • Lots of great information about the four domains of pelvic health: the biochemical pelvis, the biomechanical pelvis, the all important scar tissue domain, and the emotional pelvis
  • Most importantly, what the shame matrix is, how it affects access to life as a whole, and why freeing yourself from it is *essential* before helping others with their sexuality
  • Your right to self pleasure and thoughts on radical sexual autonomy and patriarchal culture
  • All about the next Radical Bodywork module and reclaiming the erotic as love of life
  • The differences between touching from eros and giving erotic massage and all the things that come up in pelvic touchwork from arousal to longing to transference
  • The role of assessment in navigating boundaries and connected relational exchange
  • STREAM training news and how to get involved if working with sexuality is your calling


What You’ll Hear:  

  • What is the full scope of STREAM? What does it stand for? (1:40)
  • What are the essential four parts of health? Ellen breaks it down (2:49)
  • What it means to unpack shame and why there’s potential for transformation in the genitals (7:34)
  • Why is Exiting the Shame Matrix the first module of this training? Hint: Shame affects access to life as a whole (9:32)
  • A right to self pleasure and how we explored it in the course (12:07)
  • Thoughts on privacy, secrecy, and self pleasure (12:37)
  • When it comes to genitals, men wanna be bigger and women wanna be less (13:37)
  • What is sacred deconditioning? Why taking back authority is key (14:30)
  • Owning your own sexuality is CONFRONTING in practice (16:45)
  • We must exit our own shame matrix and be really clear of who we are as sexual beings before helping others with their sexuality (19:05)
  • Authentic eros vs. shamed based eros. The power of clearing the sexual shadow (21:50)
  • It’s time to own our sexual autonomy and how this relates to #metoo (23:10)
  • Why undoing shame is powerful in groups (23:26)
  • Activating Inner Jaguar Course as titrated step into the shame matrix. Be seen in a space with other people (26:00)
  • Next module (in Feb 2018) is Radical Bodywork: Bone Holding, Body Reading & Touch with Eros (28:30)
  • Why radical touch? Literally means touching the root – your essential erotic self (28:50)
  • The difference between touching from eros and erotic massage (33:30)
  • Kimberly shares what a client may experience with pelvic touch (34:40)
  • How is arousal held in pelvic touchwork? (36:11)
  • Is genital touch a transference disaster? How do you create good boundaries? Ellen explains the importance of assessment (37:27)
  • This is about training your hands for accurate perception, which can only be done if you’re free and clear of your own pelvic floor tension (44:06)
  • The emotional pelvis (45:34)
  • “No one says cute little anus…” (thoughts on genital amnesia coupled with shame) (46:41)
  • The genital hole is a kind of trauma (50:37)
  • Second STREAM training in 2018 and how to learn more. Calling those with a calling to work with sexuality in their body-based practices (51:30)


Upcoming STREAM trainings, including Radical Bodywork



Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Embodied Consent & Boundaries


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